1. Homemade whittling or wood carving creations. Hand carved items can be unattractive and even upsetting to vampires. And will the image of you sitting at home whittling things fill your vampire friend with holiday cheer?2. Sundials. Not funny even as a joke gift.
3. Anything involving prisms, even if they make the coolest rainbow ever.
4. Any kind of crucifix jewelry. Even though a lot of modern vampires aren't bothered by them, it's best not to take chances, even with a Hello Kitty crucifix. Such a gift is sure to be misinterpreted.
5. Jack Lalanne's "Fitness after 50" longevity book. Though your vampire friend is likely over 50, you will find this is not a welcome gift.
6. Season tickets to Wrigley field or Miller Park, etc. This gift will simply upset your vampire sports fan.7. Solar fan cap. Not even as a joke. For worst results, combine with gift #6.
8. Gift certificate to a Native American sweat lodge for the weekend. This is a disastrous idea on a number of levels.
9. Training classes for being a first responder. Though the vampire's super-strength could be an asset during the Heimlich maneuver, vampires typically have a hard time passing the wound-staunching portion of the course. Plus, it's never a good idea for a vampire to be first on the scene after accidents and disasters.10. Gifts of travel. Be careful here. The Elderhostel bus tour, "Treasures of the Vatican", or an all-expense paid trip to stay with the Karenni people of Myanmar might sound cool to you, but they are examples of poor ideas for vampire vacations.
11. Giraffe collectibles. The assumption that giraffes would automatically be a vampire's favorite animal is highly offensive to vampires. It shows you think they have a one-track mind.12. "Cute" baby vampire statuettes. Your vampire friend will just think this is creepy. A definite holiday don't.
Also: Gifts you should NOT get for werewolves this holiday.
24 comments:
There is an actual Hello Kitty crucifix? NO way! LOL.
Vampire baby statue looks like the demon baby from Breaking Dawn.
KB: Didn't you know that Hello Kitty died for your sins?
And a lo! new religion was born in CJ's comment section...
I do think that is the most creepy baby ever. And that HK crucifix, well it leaves me speechless lol
Chris: LOL.
Blodeuedd: Super creepy!
Ha! Too funny, CJ.
How did I miss the werewolf one earlier in the week? I can only assume the Christmas preparations got in the way of any serious blog hopping :).
This post gives me some ideas for my WTFckery one on Sunday. hee hee
Creepy Baby reminds me of Chucky. Now that would be a pretty cool movie...Chucky Vs. The Vampires.
Snickers.... this is a great list!
I concur with Katie's statement about the baby and Breaking Dawn. Shudder. That would give me nightmares.
Check out the other Daybreakers page- CaptureHumans http://bit.ly/8LqztW
Jenre: I think the holiday is grinding all blog action down!
KB: I'll look forward to that.
Penelope: Oh, there's a good monster fight! LOL
Keira: Not the cutest baby in Breaking Dawn?
Jamie: Hmm.
Is that a baby? Really? It looks like a shrunken chubby Neanderthal child maybe...
LOL CJ!
What Blodeuedd said!
Have a great weekend.
L
I particularly like #11. Had to think for a second. Shows I'm not the brightest pencil (oops! bad reference choice!) in the box. :)
You need to check out Hello Kitty Hell, a blog about Hello Kitty items. You can find Hello Kitty ANYTHING, apparently!
The assumption that giraffes would automatically be a vampire's favorite animal is highly offensive to vampires. It shows you think they have a one-track mind.
*snort* Brilliant CJ! I am now prepared for a vampiric Christmas :) I'm guessing Christmas mass is out though?
Ha! Another wonderful list.
That Hello Kitty rosary/crucifix is just...wow! Where do you find this stuff, lol.
LOL!
Lol. Someone put a lot of thought into this! So what are you getting your vampire for Christmas?
Creepy baby is gonna give me nightmares...
Left you an award over at my blog :)
Did Hello Kitty also rise from the dead? Or was she just crucified?
And another thing: vampires hate gift cards.
HAHAHAHAHAHA I can't believe it. I MADE that hello kitty necklace.
http://black-kat-designs.deviantart.com/
hello kitty necklace is there lol
I made only one of them... Its not official HK
Thanks for clearing up this mystery, Rhiannon! I love your stuff. Also, I stuck a link in there in case somebody wants to order, at least a print. I love your guns and birds necklace, too. LOL!!
Post a Comment