Monday, December 23, 2013

The 13 holiday gifts you must not buy for werewolves under any circumstances!

 It is not easy to buy gifts for paranormals - especially werewolves. While they are typically polite about accepting items they don't like, quietly returning them when you're not around, some gifts that can upset them greatly, and should be avoided at all costs.

Hopefully this post, which I have reprised in part from the Christmas past, will help.

Do NOT give your werewolf friends and family the following gifts:

1. Any chia pet in the shape of a canine. Deeply offensive to the werewolf psyche.

2. A Friendship bracelet that you worked really hard on, that the werewolf must never take off, and you'll be really mad if they lose it. Because they will! 

3. The complete 5-volume Dog Whisperer DVD set featuring Cesar Millan. A werewolf will instantly rip it apart.

4. Nature's Sense Aromatherapy patchouli-scented Joy candles. Due to the werewolf's keen sense of smell, such a gift is not joyful. Plus, patchouli.

5. Actually, any heavily scented products are poor gift choices for werewolves.

6. Ten-hour video set of the historic Apollo 11 Lunar Landing. This type of close-up non-stop full moon footage can be overstimulating to werewolves, and lead to destruction of furnishings and upholstery and also set off howling that can result in noise complaints from the neighbors.

7. Road Runner vs. Wiley Coyote cartoon DVD set. (Not even as a joke, unless you hated your TV set anyway.)

8. Joy of yodelling CD. (Gets werewolves riled up, not in a good way.)

9. A surprise pre-paid trip to the dentist to get all cavities filled with silver fillings.

10. The clapper, or worse, if you helpfully change all their lights over to operation by the clapper. This is not something that the werewolf in your life will find at all helpful .

11. Rogaine.

12. The Slanket. While this gift may be exciting and attractive to your comfort-loving werewolf friend, it is actually very restrictive, and when it comes to shifting form unexpectedly, BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN.

. The Miau Kitty Christmas Carol album: definitely NOT a recommended buy for werewolves this holiday season.

Do not under ANY circumstances purchase this music CD for a werewolf. 

Best gifts for a werewolf: 

1. Subscription to "venison of the month" club. Helpful hint: in the box where it asks for delivery instructions for postal carrier, write: throw onto doorstep; do not carry to door and ring bell.

2. Ultra-whitening toothpaste for an extra scary effect out on the hunting trail. Rawr!

3. A fabulous book to read while waiting for the next full moon. Might I suggest:

• Seven Steps to Impressing Your Friends With a Truly Vicious Snarl:  Workbook edition with facial muscle exercises
 The Secret Lives of Rabbits: Your Next Meal May Be Closer Than You Think
• Or, of course: Off the Edge, my awesome new romantic suspense, which is now live at AmazonBarnes & Noble, and ARE.  Because what werewolf wouldn't want to read about a sexy, badass secret agent-linguistics expert?

Hey, happy holidays everyone! I hope you have a cozy, safe holiday full of your favorite people and favorite books.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Off the Edge: popping up in stores + special holiday price

I'm so excited to see Off the Edge starting to hit the stores!

It's at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and ARE right now (at ARE you can get epubs, mobi, and PDFs). It will appear in Kobo, Sony, Apple and elsewhere after Christmas. Print will be available then, too.

Special holiday price!
Right now Off the Edge is on sale for $2.99, but in early January it will go up to $3.99 and stay there for the long haul. So, grab it now if you want a buck off!

I loved writing this book and I loved being able to combine two of my passions - badass toughness and word nerdiness - into one yummalicious hero.  I guess I like to have my peanut butter with my chocolate. Because, why not?

Thank you so much, everybody, for all your enthusiasm, and the lovely early reviews. It makes my heart so happy to have such awesome readers!

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Your odds of winning chocolate, free ebooks & an ARC are pretty AMAZING!

The odds are sooooo excellent that you could win one of these fabulous giveaways! Rake it in!

Chocolate treats in the mail, and an advance ebook copy of OFF THE EDGE.
My awesome pal Jeffe Kennedy is counting down the days to Christmas on her blog (go there to win something fun every day!) Today, Sunday, is Ten Lords A-Leaping. Why are they leaping? Chocolate and ebooks from me!

Closes: Monday morning 12/16
Entering: RT or spread the link with the hashtag #JK12daysGifts on twitter, Facebook or elsewhere and comment to let her know you did it. As of this writing, there are only two entries!

Holiday ebooks written by author pals of mine!
So I noticed some of my favorite author pals have written holiday books. I am giving them away on my Facebook author page. Some have NO entrants yet. Is everybody out Christmas shopping or what?

Closes: Tuesday 12/17 5 pm CST
Entering: I have put like 7 covers up on my Facebook page, and all you have to do is comment under the cover of the book you want to win. There is no limit to how many you could win. Comment on them all! 

Off the Edge ARC
You could win an early ebook copy of Off the Edge on my post at lovely Twimom's blog. While there, you can read up on dirty Secret Agent holiday tricks.

Closes: Wednesday 12/18 12 AM EST
Entering: Just leave a comment about a holiday tip or trick.

Good luck, friends! And happy holidays.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Secret Agents reveal their dirty holiday tips and tricks!

As part of Twimom and Book Nympho's big Mistletoe Madness celebration, I gathered the secret agents of the Association together to tell their best holiday tips and tricks.

Their tips and tricks were not very wholesome! Or festive. But what can you expect from secret agents?

Drop by and see how secret agents handle holiday madness, and you could enter to win an advance copy of OFF THE EDGE!!

Click here  to stop by! 

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Off the Edge - mad cover makeover and upcoming release!

Off the Edge is with the proofreader!! I'm super excited to release this one, which will come out around Christmas.

I did a Facebook and blog poll not too long ago on my former covers asking readers about shirt vs. shirtless cover for Off the Edge, and it was really interesting how readers loved a shirt guy. I was feeling like it was a good change for the series, too.

Former covers:

But when I thought about it more, much as I love shirt-suspenders guy, the reader fave, and agreed a shirt guy is right for The Associates, after living with the cover a while and talking with other authors, I realized you kind of can't tell the genre that well. (Way more my fault than the first designer - I had this whole vision. Don't ask. My wayward cover visions - that is another post.)

Anyway the first says suspense but also contemporary romance, and suspenders guy isn't very romance. It's more adventure.

So, I decided the series needed a fresh look - a shirt guy, but more RS. I have so loved the work of Amber Shah at BookBeautiful. I especially like how she works with lighting, and color, and just her entire sensibility, so I asked her to do a new set that would have a guy in a shirt, but be specifically romantic suspense, so that it is clear what kind of tale is here. I wanted something in the genre, but I wanted something that I would personally like full of sexy fun and danger.

Amber totally pulled it out. I am so loving this new cover for OFF THE EDGE.

I love the drama of the yellow and black and orange, and I'm so into this image of my secret agent, Macmillan, who is a linguistics expert, and also badass. It feels strong and smart and sexy.

Here is the new one for Against the Dark, which is already published. I'm going to flip these out soon. I love the colors of this, and just how my name is kind of gritty. But there is also a brightness to both of these covers, like they don't take themselves overly seriously.

Anyway, it feels so good to get the right cover system for a book series. Look for Off the Edge around Christmas! And print of both really soon.