Monday, September 7, 2009

My very own international WTF mystery

One of the things about blogging is that it is an endless international WTF fest. I know I'm not the only person who has observed this, but lately a new breed of weirdness has popped up in the comments area of a post of mine from a couple months ago entitled A totally non-spoilery discussion of A Hint of Wicked. It's all these comments in Japanese!

At first I was flattered. I thought, Wow, maybe that book has released in Japan, and Japanese readers really really love that post! I mean, every couple days a new Japanese comment would go up. People appeared to return and leave additional comments. Then one day I decided to translate them using an online translator.

Here is the first comment:

Concerning woman member increase, the business trip host of this site is in the midst of insufficiency.To go into the home and the hotel of the woman, because the man part-time job which does the helping which satisfies desire at present is collected, the one which has interest requests no charge register from the TOP page.
I thought, well, in AHOW, Sophie's husband, Garrett, was off at war (the business trip?) and came back with certain emotional "insufficiencies," and maybe "hotel" is the estate, and so forth. But frankly, who am I kidding?

Here is the translation of the second message:
Recently, in the leaving home bulletin board which is introduced with the various media, you stay and message of the leaving home girl whom you are walking the net coffee and the like of all parts of the country is written in large number. Because she there is no money, it seems that directly goes to play with the man who knows each other with the bulletin board. Don't you try returning the reply to entry.
"Leaving home girl" could be Garret, who again, went off to war, but I'm starting to sense something off about the comments. So I followed the links, and yes, it's some creepy porn thing.

Curiouser and curiouser
Here's the really weird thing: it's not just porn. They also seem to come from sites offering tools for self-insight. For example, one of the commenters is a site where you can check if you are S or M. In my experience SM means either a registered service mark or Sadism/Masochism. I think we have to be talking about Sadism/Masochism here, don't you?

Here is the SM individual's comment, translated:
Your degree of S M the can it is it is checking the natural disposition which is hidden with diagnosis and the degree of SM checker! The serious that daughter and as for the night [do] S queen, [tsundere] that child to tell the truth there is [iji] [me] [te] desired wish whether!? Rising in the party and drinking meeting you are not wrong everyone it probably will rise funny with the tool

As you see, I've included a screenshot of the landing page for your perusal. Is it possible they actually have a test to help you decide whether you're into Sadism or Masochism? Call me crazy, but it seems like one of those things you'd be able to decipher without a test.

I'm also wondering what "will rise funny with the tool" means. Then again, it's probably one of those things that's best not to know.

I have three theories on all this.
Theory #1:
Certain individuals are communicating about prostitutes and the eternally confusing S or M issue in the comments area on the AHOW post. And really, they do seem to be conversing - there is a definite back and forth. Maybe they don't want evidence in their email folders at work or something.

Theory #2:
A spy thing. I know it sounds silly, but I should point out that my statcounter doesn't even track these commenters. I mean, the last comment was left at 2:07 am, and there is no evidence of a visit at that time, or any Japanese visitor landing on that page whatsoever! I didn't do an exhaustive search of the other comments, as I do have a life, but I did vaguely poke around to find clues, and I got nothing. Seriously. Like Ninjas! Like they were never there!
Think about it. You're an international spy and you want to send a message to somebody. So you agree on this area of The Thrillionth page. The messages are coded and disguised as a porn thing. And the seven interlocutors are all spies from around the world. If somebody follows them to a coffee shop where they use the computer, the worst that that can happen is that the enemy laughs at their reading tastes.

Theory #3:
A computer glitch. Maybe some words in the post triggered spam. But why from 6 or 7 different individuals? And why in an English Language blog? The demographic targeting here is so off!

There were 16 normal commenters: Lea, Lisabea, Taja, Kati, Kiera, Lori, Leslie, Stacy, Orannia, Jill Sorenson, Renee, Kaetrin, Rfp, Hilcia, Simone, Kwana and Blodeuedd. Do they see us as being need their matchmaker or SM detector services?

What do you think? And should I be taking these down?


Blodeuedd said...

I love the spy version, I'll go for that.

So you're getting Japanese porn, hm, I only get Chinese porn, well I only deciphered one word, sex. And that was always from the same guy.

But yes why write spam in Japanese or Chinese on sites where no one gets it...spies, it's the only answer. Had to go and check it, yup got SM there.

Weird, soon the CIA will be after you

Katiebabs a.k.a KB said...

CJ, I heart you, I really do. You have become the international woman of mystery! James Bond and Austin Powers are now fighting over you.

azteclady said...

*giggling* Oh dear...

I take spam down myself--but then I'm bitchy.

Leslie said...

This has espionage written all over it. Before the internet was so easily accessible agents used newspapers to leave coded messages, now, they use The Thrillionth Page. They figure you’ll just assume it’s spam, a computer error etc. when it’s really spies from all over the world passing messages via your website. And using the S&M site is brilliant. Who would suspect the site of having anything to do with international intrigue? People into S&M are too busy for spying. (Not that I would know anything about that - the S&M or the spying).

So it looks like you’re being used CJ. I would delete them. Don't let them use you CJ.

Mary Ann DeBorde said...

Mary D

Okay, that is really WTF messed up! I know a very few times I've gone to my msn home page and discovered all the text in Japanese (it's been maybe 2 years since this last happened). All we could figure out was that someone has hacked into my pc? So we put it back to english and changed passwords.

The internet can be a scary/WTF place. I don't know WHAT theory I'd go with.'

But you made me laugh with the S/M test lol - yeah, you'd THINK people would already KNOW :P

Teddy Pig said...

Max -- Goods tainted. Consider extremely hazardous. DO NOT USE.

Fate will be that of kings and counselors who built for themselves palaces now lying in ruins.

Must meet to discuss a.s.a.p.

Donna [Fantasy Dreamer's Ramblings] said...

I like theory #2 sounds more fun!

I would zap them. Their using your comments as free ad space. :)

Blodeuedd said...

Oh no, since they found out about you CJ having discovered them they moved on to me. Those clever little spies, trying to seduce me with SM. But I am the queen of reject

Mandi said...

I think it is Miss Doreen communicating with her Japanese lover.

Carolyn Crane said...

Blodeuedd: LOL. The CIA! First they have to read A Hint of Wicked.

KB: I hope James Bond wins!!

AZ: I take it down when I can read it.

Leslie: snort! Good point: S & M people are WAY too busy to notice.

Mary: Oh, it would terrible if they actually hacked in!

TeddyP: 0440 the condor will land.

Donna: yes, they are using me!


Mandi: Gasp. Miss Doreen. LOL.

Nicola O. said...

Hey, thanks for the detective work! I've been getting the same messages (I think) but I didn't bother to translate them. I put up comment moderation for older posts because it's always the same one they're hitting. It's a very persistent bot, I think.

Renee said...

What was there about that post/our comments that attracted them?

I didn't know I needed help in the S/M department. I am ever so grateful that they could figure this out by our comments and that there are services like this to help us out. I wonder what kind of questions they ask or test they give? :-P

I've gotten Thai spam before. Luckily, my spam filter puts it straight into a spam folder for me to check--and delete. Leave it to you to find the funny in Japanese spam!

Tumperkin said...

Theory #4

It's a glitch in the matrix.


Chris said...

Sounds like you've been internationally spambotted! (Oh, shut up, Firefox spellcheck. That is so a word.)

RfP said...

Blogging can be *so* revealing!

Simone said...

My God. I thought I was safe, here in deep cover, commenting on The Thrillionth Page. But it seems they've found me.

*looks for new disguise*

Lea said...

It's Bond, James Bond... God I love that guy... ;)

Thanks for another fun post CJ..


raych said...

Dude, I TOTALLY had that happen! But I never translated mine. It was a serious downer though. I'd get to my computer all Oooh, twelve new emails! I bet these are all blog comments! Hawhaaa? I can't read this shit.

Leave me alone, Japanese spies.

Rebecca @ DSB said...

How bizarre. Now I understand all the weird protocols blog sites use to verify that a human is involved. Would someone really take the time to add those comments manually on random blogs? My hubby brags that he could design a program to beat the comment 'verification' systems, so I'm voting on some random program being at work, but it doesn't answer WHY? Thanks for the entertaining post CJ. Oh, I vote spies too.

orannia said...

Simone - we've been outted! Obviously we need to find a new hiding place to secret spy stuff!

Christine said...

Take comfort in the fact that you're not alone, Carolyn. I got those same exact Japanese porn spam comments on my blog within the last couple of weeks!

spambotted! Love the new terminology, Chris!

Jill Sorenson said...

I was laughing so hard my husband came in from the other room. He just shook his head and left again.

Tracy said...

KB is right - you are the Intl. woman of mystery! And might I just say that is a total WTF mystery! Maybe one day you'll be able to figure it out. :)

Love the post!

Darla D said...

Ha! I've gotten those before, but it never occurred to me to translate them. Too funny! I just take them down when they come in, because they seem suspicious to me. Hope I'm not angering any spies out there! Yikes. :-o

Heloise said...

Too funny. I can't believe how many people this has happened to, but you were the only one to try to translate! Why does that not surprise me. :)

So difficult decision; crush the spambots by deleting, or piss off international spies. Usually not a good idea!

Kwana said...

You are one funny little spy bird. Only you would translate. That is one crazy post. I have no clue what is with it. But I guess I must have hit the button for email me updates, which I usually never do, because whenever you get the Japanese spam I now get it too. Grrr... My crackberry beeps and when I check it all the little characters are there. Sigh. Darn those cagey spies!

Nicola O. said...

OK, I got a new one today. Japanese translation: Japanese: As for top secret image and photograph of H confession and everyday life of girl main point check!! Participating now, free it will begin adult SNS!! If it goes well, the chance perhaps it can get sweetheart and [sehure],

Sure looks like spy-talk to me.

OTOH, the chinese translation could be sort of romancey, though the translation leaves much to be desired: Chinese: Female ? sub-reaches ? the H public statement, the date ??? Peru reflection ? portrait ? to want ????!! Now ?? attends ?? the SNS ? beginning without the material ??? the lover ?? comes out ??? to know ??? where the ?? are untranslated characters.

Carolyn Crane said...

Nicola! That sounds like real spy stuff!

Anonymous said...

oh my gawd, this is the best thing i had read all day, and i am late to the game i know. but seriously? HILARIOUS! and now you just gave all the japansese ninja spies out there an idea of how to communicate secretly if they weren't already doing this.

Nicola O. said...

Aaauuugh. This was irritating, then mildly amusing (thank you), but now I'm *really* getting annoyed. I turned the word verification back on until this stupid bot goes away.