Friday, January 16, 2009

Are you a literate wanker? Little CJ wants to know!!!

A guest post by Crazy Little CJ with POLL (see sidebar).

Carolyn Jean is reading two books right now: Marly's Choice by Lora Leigh (won from Barbara! Thanks Barbara!) and Black Ice by Anne Stuart.

She was reading Marly's Choice first, and she got about halfway through, but it was so hot, she just had to put it aside and trade it off with something of a cooler temperature.


She found the plot darkly compelling. Compellingly shocking. Poor feeble Carolyn Jean. She'll go back to it. She acts all pure, but enjoys being shocked and titillated. Anybody who reads this blog knows she is a great enjoyer of erotica.

The Marly's Choice plot is awesome if you ask me: It's like these three guys from a crazy family, and they basically raised this girl/foundling as a kind of sister/niece. She is now home from college, and one of them is in love with her and vice versa, but there's some secret she doesn't know. Carolyn Jean is beginning to suspect the three brothers are some sort of a package deal. Flight, hotel and rental car. All inclusive. And that, I believe, is only kink #1.

Nicola recently did a post on Lora Leigh books which both Carolyn Jean and I thought was great. Nicola had some plot and character complaints about Lora Leigh's military man books, but then this:
So why keep reading? Well, the same reason we all go back to that mythical bad boy: the sex.

I don’t just mean the explicit erotic scenes. Leigh also writes erotica and her love scenes are hot, explicit, x-rated. Although I haven’t read all of her books, I believe it’s safe to say that her trademark is writing relationships with a power struggle, physical and emotional.
Yay Nicola! Anyway, this is definitely true of Marly's Choice. It's all very hot and power-struggly. Which brings me to:

Exhibit 2: Carolyn Jean read the following in a piece in the Independent by author Rupert Smith (a.k.a. James Lear), who wrote Palace of Varieties, a rollickingly dirty book that she and Sayuri will soon be team reviewing. Smith notes:
Erotic fiction has a purpose, and it's not a very highbrow one. James Lear's novels are designed specifically as aids to masturbation: two good orgasms per chapter for younger readers, one for the over forties. Each encounter gives the reader a variation on the theme, keeping the interest fresh. The plot exists to carry the reader from one orgasm to the next.
The reason why dirty books remain in the shadows is very simple: the book trade is not comfortable with masturbation. Books in which children are abused, women murdered and men brutalised crowd the shelves of WH Smith. Books in which consenting adults enjoy each other for the healthy entertainment of literate wankers do not.
Most friends of The Thrillionth Page seem to read across all subgenres, from the tamest historical to some seriously smutty stuff. James Lear suggests we're masturbating every other chapter.

Poll at left!
Late at night, in her trash-addled mind reading her porn, Carolyn Jean frequently wonders about this. Is he right? Are all her little friends masturbating? TWO orgasms a chapter? Or is he more talking about men. I say, what better use of a google poll than this? Please, put her out of her misery! Oh, and "J" - feedburner will be disabled for this. So you can feel free to tell all!

Images (except little CJ) from wikimedia; poll allows more than one answer.


Sarai said...

ROFLMAO wow just wow. Interesting topic I must say.
Its funny b/c da bf asked the other night why I read the sweet romance and the naught romance together *shrug* I have no idea sometimes I like it dirty and sometimes I want it sweet...

Carolyn Jean said...

Oh, so you trade off, too! LOL. I wonder if that is common.

JenB said...


nice rack.

Sayuri said...


I cannot believe you did a post about this! You are the limit! LOL

Why do you think I love James Lear so much? LMAO!!!! And J.L Langley! I have voted in the poll but I'm not telling you which. *blushes* I'm a good girl.....honest.

Carolyn Jean said...

JenB: that's not me!

Sayuri: LOL. We will all just have to imagine.

Renee said...


2 orgasms per chapter. Man, I wish I had that much energy! LOL

Umm...I didn't know you read French!

Katiebabs a.k.a KB said...

The family that plays together and shares the same woman is Lora Leigh's motto!

Nicola O. said...

ROFL -- great post, and thanks for the shout-out. :-)

JenB said...

HAHAHAHA...wouldn't it have been class if you really had posted a pic of your own boobs? Blogging reaches new heights.

Is Little CJ even old enough to be taking about this kind of stuff??? O.o

JenB said...

classy...not class

Damn it.

Jill Sorenson said...

You've scandalized me! I love it!!!

This is a very timely post because I just bought a copy of Dawn's Awakening by Lora Leigh. I believe I've read only one short story of hers before, in which the hero had a barbed penis. OMG. And yet oddly not a turn-off.

I was also thinking about Caine's Reckoning as an arousal aide. It struck me that way when I read it. I enjoyed the book, but for me, it was like giving Viagra to an 18-year old boy. I didn't really need 200 pages of sex. Sometimes 4 is enough. Of course, I often read a book in one sitting. I couldn't do that with CR. It was way too hot.

Twice a chapter? I don't want to put the book down that often.

Carolyn Jean said...

Renee: yes, that seems a lot!

KB: Oh, that's an LL trademark?

Nicola: LOL. Hope you answered my poll!

JenB: If it was me, naturally I wouldn't SAY.

Jill: Scandalized! I was like, will I regret hitting the publish button on this one? “I don't want to put the book down that often.” LOL.

Kati said...

Wow and LOL!

I'm with Renee, I'm amazed at whoever is having two orgasms per chapter. That's a LOT of energy!

I'm not such a fan of Lora Leigh. I've said it before there's sex, and then there's TOO much sex. I've only read a couple of her books, but in one there were literally intruders in the house, and the couple stopped to have some sex. Ridiculous -- and kind of laugh out loud funny too. Also, LL features alot of dripping. Things drip. And for me? Dripping is NOT sexy - it requires medical attention, possibly some antibiotics. Also, drooling? Also not sexy.

But it's probably just me.

Amy C said...

Very open and interesting post! I love it when topics like this are explored and voiced.

Tracy said...

I love how shy you AREN'T! Great post.

2 great orgasms a chapter? lol Oh the insanity. It reminds me of KB's friend who asked her if she just read them to get off. Weird.

I like some of Lora Leigh's stuff but I've heard the premise behind the book/series that you're reading and it's just not my cuppa. I'll be interested to see what's up. I love how you put it though - package deal: flight, hotel and rental car. lol

Bridget Locke said...

Naked boobies? For shame, Lil' CJ. *snicker* Man, this post made me snort! Thanks for that. he-he

Lori said...

Great post! And I also have to admit to wondering if that rack was yours, LOL!!!

Bridget Locke said...

Oh, and for me personally, Lora Leigh's writing drives me up the wall. Her sex scenes are hot, but she uses the word rear all the time. Say what? Ass is more like it. LOL!

And I can't stand her characters. They either waffle too much or are just downright obnoxious. Again though, that's just MHO. :)

And I voted. Won't tell you which one, cuz like Sayuri, I'm a good girl. *snicker*

Ladytink_534 said...

I love Anne Stuart's Ice series! It's very good. I hope you enjoy!

Carolyn Jean said...

Kati: Dripping! Oh, I think I may have encountered some of that in MC. Now, whenever I read about it in this book, I will think of you!

Amy:Well, I hope you voted!!

Tracy: Yes, part of reading it is me thinking, is she really writing this plot?

Bridget: I know. Lil CJ is terrible! Also, rear is an old lady word.

Lori: As much as I'd like to take credit for being the hotness behind that boobs photo, it really is from wikipedia commons.

LT: So far I'm really liking Black Ice.

Nicola O. said...

Is that the Anne Stuart that teams up with Jennifer Crusie upon occasion?

*scribbles notes*

Tumperkin said...

*laughing like drain*

So you and Sayuri are going to double-team James Lear?

Kris said...

Romance books as romance aides?? Whatever will they think of next!

I think you need another option on the poll saying 'too busy ROFL to take this srsly'. *in hysterics*

Kati said...

They could start packaging really hot erotic romance with masturbatory aides, like a really good vibrator.

Like a gift set. ;oP

Holly said...

I think the premise behind the Men of August series is ridiculous, but the sex is really effin hot. I might have gotten of twice a chapter when reading it - well, during certain chapters. heh

I've always said if LL wanted to write dirty sex she should have just written it. Giving us a lame, squicky reason for why she HAD to write the dirty sex was a cop-out, plain and simple.

Sometimes I wonder about the erotica/titillation thing myself. I mean, do we just read it for titillation? or is there deeper meaning there?

Personally I think erotica is chick porn. While men are visual women are generally intellectual, so it makes sense they'd prefer to READ their porn than WATCH it.

Not romance or erotica romance, of course, but just straight erotica.

Holly said...

Also, I'm slightly weirded out by the fact that you have a pic of nekkid lady lumps right underneath your creepy pic of Lil CJ. That's just...not right.

I'm just sayin..

Carolyn Jean said...

Nicola: I don't know!

Tumperkin: We'll double team him, yes! If he'll have us.

Kris: Snort. Well, I hope you found a suitable alternate answer to mark!

Kati: Funny. Or in this case, three of them.

Holly: But you have to have some story, or else there's no build up, right? But you're prolly right about the chick porn thing. My measure is, when I'm starting just skip from one sex scene to another, that's when it converts to porn. Otherwise, I still think of myself as reading a novel. And, I'd way rather read it than watch it.

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!!!! Dear Heavens!!!! What a post!!! ROTFLMAO!!! BTW, I put my vote in, lol!!

Oh and you are welcome Carolyn!! Hope you're enjoying!

Anonymous said...

Er...what I mean is I hope you are enjoying...but not TOO MUCH! LOL! *wink* Oy.....

Carolyn Jean said...

Barabara! Look what you started! Oh, you bet I'm enjoying the books! LOL.

Anonymous said...

LMAO! ;)

Marg said...

You are the bomb!

Brie said...

Ha ha! I love this post!

Masturbating every other chapter is outrageous. I doubt too many people would be able to do that.

I've never read Lora Leigh, now I want to check her out.

naida said...

OMG lol! shocking post!
'two good orgasms per chapter' that would make a great marketing line for selling these

RachaelfromNJ said...

I dont know how I missed this post but some of these comments were hilarious! And I wonder about the boob pic..Did one google a pic or is that Carolyn's rack?