Thursday, October 24, 2013

Cover copy: opinions welcome!

Hey friends!

I've been working hard on my next book, OFF THE EDGE. (out in a month or so). I'm toggling between two approaches to the cover copy. Do you hate either? Love either? Are you all about the mix and match? Should I toss everything? Is 'secret agent linguistcs expert' waaaay too long? I'll shut up now. Opinions welcome!

*****Obsess one*********


HE SHOULDN’T OBSESS OVER HER

Seducing women is just part of the job for deadly, charming secret agent linguistics expert Peter Macmillan. But the Bangkok hotel singer who holds the key to his latest mission also possesses the power to crack his cool façade—one that hides another life…and a dark tragedy.

SHE SHOULDN’T HELP HIM

He ravished her body. He stole her secrets. He won’t reveal his identity. So maybe Laney Lancaster shouldn’t feel sorry for the man when she finds him shirtless, sweaty, and chained up in the hotel’s dank dungeon. Maybe she shouldn’t be sneaking down, trying to free him. Except she knows firsthand what it’s like to be wounded, trapped and alone…thanks to a murderous ex-husband who hunts her across the globe. 

THEY SHOULDN’T SURVIVE

As deadly forces align against them, Laney and Macmillan find themselves on the run, in the grip of wilder passion and darker danger than either of them ever imagined. To survive, they must trust each other with their lives...and their hearts.

******or enemies one*******



SHE MAY BE HIS WORST ENEMY…

For Peter Macmillan, the Association’s deadliest and most charming secret agent, language is a weapon – one he’s used to hunt the world’s most dangerous criminals. Seducing a singer in a second-rate Bangkok hotel should be a piece of cake. Except the woman who holds the key to his latest mission seems to have the power to destroy his cool façade—and with it, his last defense against a dark past.

HE MAY BE HER ONLY HOPE…

He ravished her body. He stole her secrets. He won’t reveal his true identity. So maybe Laney Lancaster shouldn’t feel sorry for the man when she finds him shirtless, sweaty, and chained up in the hotel’s dank dungeon. Maybe she shouldn’t be sneaking down, trying to free him. Except she knows firsthand what it’s like to be wounded, trapped and alone…thanks to a murderous ex-husband who hunts her across the globe. 

But when they cross the wrong people, they find themselves on the run, in the grip of wilder passion and darker danger than either of them ever imagined.




9 comments:

Jennifer said...

Hi! I'm super excited to know this is coming out soon, I LOVED the first one. How cool that you are asking for feedback. :)

I think the "enemy" text better matches the text under each header. And it's a little smoother together, also fits the romance genre conventions a little better - if that is what you're going for.

If you go with the first (Obsession) one, I noted that you have the two leads listed together as "Laney and MacMillan" - her first name and his last name. Is that intentional? If so, then OK. But it just calls to mind a little gender-specific uneasiness for me, makes her come off as a bit lesser... sort of like with James Bond. Yes, he's hot and everything but why does his hotness have to come at the expense of the agency of every woman around him? If it's a deliberate choice for you and that is what you're going for, because you're out to take that convention and thoroughly subvert it, then it worked and good for you! But if not, I wanted to point out my reaction...

Carolyn Crane said...

Thanks, Jennifer! This is really helpful. And I'm glad you pointed out the names thing. There is a reason for that - he has a thing with his first name - but it really does give the wrong impression without any explanation. I think I'll just walk around it in the final blurb.

Li said...

I tripped over the "secret agent linguistics expert" phrase - I'm thinking either one or the other?

I prefer the second one as well, possibly because it avoids that phrase but still plays up the language angle, which is interesting.

Great cover, btw.

Barbara said...

Either works for me, but I think I lean a little toward the second one. It just felt a little more polished and flowed a little more smoothly as I read it. Thanks for asking our opinion. :)

Carolyn Crane said...

Li: I was wondering if I'd get away with that 'secret agent linguistics expert' bit. I'm glad you noted it.

Barbara: thanks so much for weighing in! It really is helpful. I'm so glad I asked.

Twimom227 said...

I'm going to agree with the others before that I like the second better. I kind of just skipped the "secret agent linguistics expert" when I read it, but I do agree, it's a mouth full. Secret Agent lends itself to more intrigue.

Anna said...

"He Shouldn't Obsess Over Her" grabs my attention since Macmillan was one cool dude in the first book. I'm intrigued and excited.
Plus the third header segues well into their common goal.

The text in the second cover blurb is better, especially MacMillan's piece. ('Secret agent linguistics expert' is a mouthful.)

If I were to dink with this I'd either keep the three headers for the first cover blurb and use the text in the second choice. Or I'd Keep the second cover blurb nearly the same, except add the "They Shouldn't Survive" header with revisions, i.e. "They May Not Survive."

Hope this helps. The other posters also make valid points. Good luck!

Carolyn Crane said...

Twimom: Thanks for weighing in! Moar intrigue!!

Anna: Ooh, thanks! I liked the obsess one, too, for the reasons you do, though I think the other is more straightforward, so I'm torn on it. I'm going to shake words all up now that I have opinions and my own time to reflect. It has been so helpful to hear these reactions!

Regina said...

Carolyn, I love the second one. :) But like both.

I am excited about this book, such a great series.