Sunday, January 13, 2008

Come for me!

I am sure I’ll regret posting this entry, but it has been a burning question of mine for some time:

Does anybody really say Come for me in real life?

Lately, I have seen this phrase pop up in sex scenes, where the partner, usually the more experienced or bossy one, says this, and the other magically complies. I mean, obviously they were heading there anyways, but still. I don’t get it. In my world, many things are amenable to verbal requests and commands. Coming is not one of them.

Like Einstein doing his famous thought experiments as he developed his important theories about time and the curvature of space, I have done my own thought experiments on Come for me and in what way such a command could possibly be effective. Maybe I am showing off my sexual naiveté for all the world to see here, but through my own thought experiments, I have determined that if my husband or any pre-husband man I was with said Come for me in bed, it would have the total opposite effect. I would be out of the zone because suddenly it’s supposed to happen at this given time. I am going to excuse hunky Captain Nate from saying it to Aiden in My Fair Captain. I could definitely see it working on a 19 year old boy. Or, I could see it having the intended effect if it was put in an interestingly dirty way. Or, if you’re already past the point of no return, so to speak. But Come for me? And what if then you didn’t? Isn’t there enough pressure on the female orgasm already?

Like Einstein, because you know I am totally like Einstein, I have this theory that the phrase was born in the fictional universe and spreads only there, from character to character without ever interfacing with real life. Like, the Regency rake says it, so suddenly some other author’s domineering werewolf character has to say it. And then the vampire brothers can’t be left out. And suddenly the sexy policeman is saying it. Because it’s the bed command all the cool heroes are using, sort of like Open your eyes, Watch me, or some other sort of command along the lines of See what I’m doing. Which I could see working.

I mean, obviously lots of things in the books I read don’t happen that way in real life, but Come for me, specifically, has me wondering. So please, people, enlighten me. Take the quiz at the left!


lisabea said...

Come for me now. No. Now. Wait. NOW. Ok...just, uh, let me know when you're done.

I will excuse Nate anything. It worked unbelievably well in that book and, phew, that Aiden did what he was told.

Teddy Pig said...

Oh come on, you know how those young men really like to take orders. Especially if it is doing something they want to do. Try "Fuck Me Hard You Dirty Boy" sometime and see what it gets ya.

Carolyn Jean said...

Oh, TP, I'm sure that would get me all kinds of results!

LB, I totally agree - it worked brilliantly.

But in my theory, I'm saying 'Come for me' would work on young men, but pretty much nobody else.

Hey, nobody is taking my quiz!

Anonymous said...

I've heard that line before, and when it's coming from a guy it doesn't work...

lisabea said...

Hey, I participated in the quiz. I'll hook you up.

I'm not sure about the young men thing, though. I think that there might be an unknown to us D/s element that makes that work. Maybe. We should ask someone in the know. Otherwise: It's fiction, people applies here.

Did you ever read Jennifer Crusie's Crazy for You? The heroine and hero are in the middle of their first love making go, and it's told from the heroines' perspective. It's the running commentary in her head as she tries to get into the zone. But she has great difficulty getting into the zone and her mind keeps wandering.Omg. Talk about hilarious. Really. It's one of my all time favorite love scenes because it's dead on.

bettie said...

"Come for me now. No. Now. Wait. NOW. Ok...just, uh, let me know when you're done."

It's funny because it's true.

Teddy Pig said...

Oh Lisabea,

Of course "Come for me!" works he's a huge ass hairy Top damn it!

The point is yeah, if you are a guy and have had enough experience having sex with other guys um it is sorta easy to tell when someone is gonna come.

It works because for someone playing the Top and supposed to be observant and caring and experienced can tell when the person being subservient letting letting themselves be wound up is gonna blow anyway.

It is very much an in the moment deal and it does sorta not fit into most peoples sexual repertoire unless you are in a BDSM style relationship.

Teddy Pig said...

Remember, your best sexual organ is your mind. This is sorta a mental trick on a bottom during a scene using an easily seen physical sign to reinforce a sexual domination dynamic.

lisabea said...

Remember, your best sexual organ is your mind.

So true.

In this particular situation, I get it. Aiden is in his groove just feeling and being overwhelmed and, er, getting effed by that big hairy OMG MAN with a capital M. Nate is watching, he's paying attention, and he's going to jack that experience up as far as it can go for Aiden. What ever it is, Langley did it WELL. And it fucking works. Phew.

But in your typical romance, not a BDSM or D/s or what have you, when the dude's all Come for me Hephestus! (or whatever he says),I don't usually believe it.

Devon said...

Come for me now. No. Now. Wait. NOW. Ok...just, uh, let me know when you're done.

Ha!! I was thinking,"Are you done yet?" was more like it.

Sarai said...

Okay I'll admit it I've said it before and got really good results I think it is the whole dominate thing and men come so easily anyway so saying it makes them happy!!!
But if someone said it to me it would take me out of the zone for sure and I took the quiz!!

Carolyn Jean said...

Okay, TP, that is interesting...somebody might say it when their partner is already almost there to reinforce dominance. I didn't think of that! I can't believe all the things I didn't think of now that people are replying. This DOES make me look naive. But I suppose that's what a good blog is for.

LB and Devon: Let me know when you're done/are you there yet - totally hilarious. I would definitely not want to see that become a fad of heroes to say.

And Sarai, good for you! Apparently I should've allowed people to multiple answer on my quiz, so you could've answered both ways.

I will never read that line the same again!

Tumperkin said...

*laughs uncontrollably*

I'm with you on this one, CJ. If the Husbag said that to me, I'd be all "What? SHUT UP!".

And yes, as far as romance is concerned, this is one of those virus-phrases that every romance book in the world seems to 'catch'. It belongs in certain books only - not in every book.

LesleyW said...

I associate it mostly with bdsm stories and took it to be more like a pavlovian response. And I think maybe more mainstream stories have just nicked the idea.

Like tp said, it's to do with not just involving your body but also your mind in the experience. So rather than thinking about what grocery shopping you're going to buy tomorrow you're concentrating on not coming, until you're told to.

kim said...

Mine would be: Come for me now....wait ...wait...wait..oh never mind.

I'm really jealous of people this works on.

God, if it were only that easy!