Demon Bound, more baron and holiday exchange #18!

Baby Food Baron continues!!
Meljean Brook is posting her chapter--chapter SIX--of The Baby Food Baron today! So check it out. If you haven't read the first five chapters yet, you're in for a treat!

To access the first five chapters, please buckle your seat belt, put your tray to the UP position, fasten your oxygen mask securely over your nose and mouth, open your air sickness bag and place it on your lap, strap a floatation device to your body and start here.

Okay, also I finished Demon Bound last week and I have a few thoughts. So I guess this is officially fawn-over-Meljean day at Thrillionth page.

My very favorite random things about Demon Bound

This is another Meljean Brook book that hits the sweet spot between fresh, fun worldbuilding, fantastic writing and a strong romance and action storyline. It is always such a rich thing to get all three.

Demon Bound has a strapping young Guardian novice Jake getting caught up with Alice, also a Guardian but she’s been around far longer. She’s a kind of archivist/archaeologist—think foreboding librarian with hidden—make that very well-hidden—sensuality. She’s not prim so much as creepy, and heavy into spiders. She’s also bound by a deal she made with a demon to kill head Guardian Michael! Gasp!

Onto the random things...

Fun creepy surprises in hell
Ah, yes, another Meljean Brook book that involves a trip to hell. I really enjoyed Brook’s richly imagined hell here, which builds on the hell of previous books in a satisfying way. I’ve always been a fan of the screaming frozen fields, and this comes into play as one of the non-attractive options open to Alice vis a vis her tragic bargain.

Little disappointments and blunders
The relationship between Jake and Alice has a wonderful, naturalistic feel to it, and I think part of the reason is that it’s paved with so many missteps; Jake and Alice are kind to each other, but they also hurt and misjudge each other in little ways, then repair their blunders and this builds a strong bond between them. The interaction is wonderfully human, and that’s a quality I love in this book. There are a couple scenes in particular where I was surprised at how wrong Brook let things go. I really enjoyed that.

The ‘feeling the head’ scene
We’ve all had the buddy or brother who gets the crew cut and everybody has to feel their head. It’s a universal, tactile memory and I love how Meljean uses it here. All the Guardians get into rubbing Jake’s crew-cutted head, but Alice never does. And as the sexual tension builds between these characters, the rubbing of Jake’s head takes on way more significance and charge, and makes a great scene when it finally happens.

Alice’s voice
The point of view switches between Jake, who was killed in the Vietnam war before becoming a Guardian, and Alice, a woman who came of age and died in the Victorian era. I particularly enjoyed Alice's voice itself, which I found to be intelligent and oddly humorous; it gave me a strong sense of her personality, and the feel of a fully developed consciousness. I particularly enjoy the chapter and section starts. Like the first line of the book:

How easy killing a Guardian would be. Even Michael, the most powerful of all the Guardians, would fall if a sword cleaved through his heart or his neck.

There is quiet music in these sentences, but if you follow the series, it is a totally shocking thing to say. Or this, after a sexual escapade

How depraved they were.

Alice lay on her stomach beneath her worktable, the marble floor cool beneath her cheek. It was odd to be thankful for a slit in her drawers, but she supposed that if the opening had not been there, her bottom would now be exposed, and she simply did not have the strength to cover it.

The nuances of the Guardian ranks
The Guardians felt more nuanced in this installment. I wonder if it was because half this tale is told from the perspective of Alice, a more unpopular member of the group. Alice feels rejected and slightly demoralized as a Guardian, and purposely creeps out the younger Guardians. This perpetuates her experience of rejection and isolation; it also discounts and disrespects the younger Guardians, and of course, Jake himself is a younger Guardian, and the others are his pals. So that was an issue with them.

What's more, the fact that the Guardians seem to have factions and members who dislike or resent each other—and the sense that that may grow—made the Guardians feel grittier and more real in a new way this time around.

So overall, another exciting installment! It’s such a fun thing in life to be able to count on favorite writers for this level of entertainment. One caveat: I do not think this is a good book to start the series with because it’s heavy on the world building and wonky details of Guardian realms and history— fascinating if you’re into the series, but overwhelming to a newbie. Heck, start with Demon Angel. Some people didn’t get into it, but honestly, I thought it was fabulous. And you get the infamous clawed door scene.

More on Demon Bound:
Racy Romance Reviews
Alpha Heroes
Dear Author
Book Binge

Oh, what do we have here? A holiday gift exchange…#18!!

Holiday exchange #16 and news

Ah, the gift exchange continues...
Thanks again to Katibabs, who has a special *ahem* fondness for Rhev and Roarke, for helping me think of this one!

NEWS ITEM #1 The Baby Food Baron continues! Are you keeping up? Because it just gets crazier and crazier. It started here below, and here's the rest of the schedule:

Monday - I posted chapter 1, below
Tuesday - Ann Aguirre posted chapter 2
YESTERDAY - Tumperkin posted chapter 3
TODAY - Chapter 4 at Bettie Sharpe's

TOMORROW - Carrie Lofty posts chapter 5:
December 20th - Meljean Brook posts chapter 6
December 21st - Kate Rothwell posts chapter 7
December 22nd - Lorelie Brown posts chapter 8
December 23rd - Dionne Galace posts all 8 chapters

Tumperkin, who created the project, developed the outline and a few "guidelines." Fun things to be on the lookout for through these 8 chapters:

• Non-English exclamations
• The 'betraying bulge' in Cesar's pants!
• 'What could Chastity do? She had no choice but to...'
• Hyperbolic, earth-shattering, spiritual orgasms
• Weird baby foods and baby food comparisions
• Being treacly about children
  

News Item #2: There is a really interesting discussion/brewhaha on Urban Fantasy and paranormal romance touched off by this article by Lilith Saintcrow on Pat's Fantasy Hotlist and continued elsewhere, such as Book Smugglers and Babbling about Books.

News Item #3: Okay, I had three news items and I can't remember the third! But a girl has to get to work. Maybe I'll think of it as soon as I post this. For now, news item #3 can be that I have lost my mind. Sad.

The Unfeasibly Tall Greek Billionaire: Check out our previous masterpiece: The Unfeasibly Tall Greek Billionaire's Blackmailed Martyr-Complex Secretary Mistress Bride in full downloadable book form Here

Chapter One

It's finally here! Running every day across different blogs until the 22nd (see schedule at end). Happy holidays!

Ironically, Chastity was toiling on her hands and knees, scrubbing the orphanage floor, when he strode past. The supple Italian leather of his boots looked strangely familiar…had she been near those boots before? And his bellowing voice, commanding her stepmother, Gladys, to show him the babies, please, the bella, bella babies, sounded familiar, too.

But it was those powerful thighs, rippling and bulging as he walked, that confirmed that this was the man who had shown her the torrid pleasures of the flesh nearly two years ago now.

Oh! Never could she forget the way his thighs looked that night, bared in the candlelight—proud thighs that were crowned, like a gloriously prancing unicorn, by his throbbing manhood. She had ridden his glossily romping glorypole clear up to the sky, to the stars, which had glittered and shattered, exposing the very heavens to her in a soul-wrenching orgasm that had produced her two wonderful twins, Miracle and Marvel.

Yes, it was none other than Italian gourmet baby food baron, Cesar Machismo!

The petite redhead scrubbed furiously. Why was he here? Surely Cesar hadn’t discovered her secret! No, it had to be a coincidence—and she mustn’t let him recognize her.

Furtively, she reached into her smock pocket and drew out the hairnet that she wore when serving lunch to the babies. She had no choice but to put it on in order to disguise her flowing titian locks. And then she found the black marker, whose smell was such a solace during her days of drudgery, and penned a large mole on her right cheek. Blushing, she remembered how he had complimented those cheeks, so unblemished, like the finest Italian marble, he’d said. He would not recognize those cheeks now, she thought darkly.

His interest in the babies distressed her greatly. She scrubbed his muddy boot prints as fast as she could, trying to keep up with the man as he walked from crib to crib alongside her stepmother, who owned the orphanage. His assistant hovered some distance away, taking notes.

What were they saying? She could only make out his occasional exclamation - O, poverina! Poverina! And Chastity was slowing in her progress toward them—why wasn’t her furious scrubbing getting out his boot prints? She looked down and realized she had balled her fists in anger.

Cesar had made it only too clear that fateful night, as she’d danced with him, what his views of gold diggers were—mama mia!—who set out to get themselves a meal ticket for life by getting pregnant. When she realized she was pregnant, she knew she could not tell him, not after she had laughed in scorn along with Cesar: Mama Mia! She’d repeated, Such women are whores! What else could she say? She’d had no choice. And he’d laughed, and she’d wrapped her arms around his neck, eyes constantly drawn to the betraying bulge in his pants.

No, she’d had no choice. She could never tell him.

Her stepmother Gladys was scandalized to learn of her behavior. Tearfully, she’d taken Chastity’s cheeks in her hands. “No, please God! My baby, my virgin child, you cannot be pregnant. We will be ruined!” Grudgingly, Gladys had allowed Chastity to stay at the orphanage, as long as she hid her pregnancy under a shapeless smock. Once the babies came, Gladys put them with the rest of the orphans. She said that if Chastity wanted to be near them, then Chastity would work for that privilege: she must keep the place clean, and tend to all of the orphans. What could Chastity do? She had no choice but to go along with her stepmother’s demands.

On her hands and knees she scrubbed, following Cesar and Gladys as they approached the crib that Miracle and Marvel shared. She prayed he would not notice their brown eyes and their titian hair, and the many other ways in which they resembled the girl he’d known that night. She had just given Mira and Marv a book of art prints to look at to help promote their amazing artistic talent, which was demonstrated daily by the way their attention was drawn to colorful objects. She prayed the twins’ attention would be absorbed in the book as Cesar passed by, so that he would not glimpse their little faces.

***

Cesar Machismo followed the insufferable woman from crib to crib. None of these children even remotely resembled his image of the ideal baby. But he needed no less than the perfect, ideal baby to be the “Discerning Baby” - the new face of the Machismo Gourmet Baby Foods Firm. It was critical he find a truly lovable baby, especially after what had happened with their previous ad campaign, “Babies with Good Taste.” The commercials had featured the humorous misunderstandings of halfwit parents who thought ‘babies with good taste’ meant babies who ‘taste good.’ People had become outraged. Un disastro!

The Discerning Baby campaign was not going much better. All the babies he’d been shown him were grossly sub-par. None exemplified lovability, as well as discernment for the finer things in life! For the Discerning Baby must show discerning taste in all things. Mama mia, but one had to do everything oneself!

He felt sure he wouldn’t find the right baby in an orphanage, but he’d exhausted all his options in this region of the country. What’s more, it was impossible to concentrate with the scrubbing girl dogging his steps. She seemed to become agitated as he drew near the last crib.

“Why are these poor creatures stuck in the same crib?” He barked menacingly. The babies began to cry, and then they both spit up.

“Dio mi Salvo!” Cesar exclaimed.

“Please, forgive them,” the proprietress said.

“Oh, it merely distresses me to see babies become sick! Why did you spit up, little ones?” He had his suspicions, though. He reached into the crib and swiped a finger through the glistening yellow substance, then brought it to his lips and sucked. “Pah! You fed them the substandard applesauce produced by my competitors. Not even fit for carrion-eating crows!” He glared at the proprietress.

“I’m sorry, but we cannot afford your brand.”

“And these babies are suffering for it. Don’t you see? This food is an affront to their dignity.” He gazed at the babies with their titian hair, their big brown eyes; there was an ineffable quality to their looks that pleased him greatly and reminded him of happier times. And then something in the crib caught his attention. “What is this?” He reached in and pulled out the art book, which had lain open to the page with a picture of the Mona Lisa; her face was obscured by the contents of the baby’s stomachs.

“Per Meravaglia!” he exclaimed, gazing rapturously at the infants.

“Please, do not be angry with them,” the woman begged.

“How could I be angry? My dear woman, everybody knows the Mona Lisa is the most overrated piece of art in the history of the Western World—pure rifiuti not fit to line the bottom of a rabid squirrel’s cage. These children were offended by the sight of it, but they do not yet possess the motor skills to banish the image from their sight by turning the page. So they covered it with the regurgitated food of my competitor! A fitting tribute, don’t you agree?”

The woman looked confused.

“I have found them,” Cesar announced to the room. “Not one, but two Discerning Babies. My good woman, I’ll adopt the pair of them! How does a hundred dollars sound?”

His assistant drew near, spouting some drivel about adoption legalities and such.

“Nonsense!” Cesar turned to the proprietress. “It’s okay with me if it’s okay with you.”

“No, I beg of you!” The scrubbing girl stood. “You cannot adopt them! You cannot!”

“And why is that, my bella?” Cesar said.

“Because…because they…they need a sense of continuity!” She blurted out.

The old woman narrowed her eyes. “I’m afraid she’s right. I must insist that this girl come along as a condition of their adoption. The babies have a certain bond to her.”

The assistant touched Cesar’s arm, mumbling on and on. “…potential baby trafficking charges…”

Cesar waved him away. “Basta!” He eyed the scrubbing girl.

“She is a virgin,” the proprietress added.

He didn’t doubt that for a second—the poor girl was all hairnets and moles as far as he could see. Just as well. He didn’t want any distractions in his home. “Well then, if the Discerning Babies prefer the company of this girl, then she is worthy to be their nanny. I’ll take all three.”

~ The end of chapter one ~

December 16th - Ann Aguirre posts chapter 2 - now up
December 17th - Tumperkin posts chapter 3 - now up
December 18th - Bettie Sharpe posts chapter 4 - now up
December 19th - Carrie Lofty posts chapter 5 - now up
December 20th - Meljean Brook posts chapter 6 - now up
December 21st - Kate Rothwell posts chapter 7 - now up
December 22nd - Lorelie Brown posts chapter 8 - now up
December 23rd - Dionne Galace posts all 8 chapters

Story outline, concept and project vision by Tumperkin!

Fun things to be on the lookout for through these 8 chapters:

• Non-English exclamations
• The 'betraying bulge' in Cesar's pants!
• 'What could Chastity do? She had no choice but to...'
• Hyperbolic, earth-shattering, spiritual orgasms
• Weird baby foods and baby food comparisions
• Being treacly about children
  

Cover design: Bettie Sharpe. The Italian Gourmet Baby Food Baron's Ironically Pregnant Virgin Mistress will eventually be available for download through Amazon and Scribd.

***

Holiday Gift Exchange in Romancelandia #14
Oh, gosh! The daily exchange between heroes, heroines and villains continues!

Holiday gift exchange #7 & the book little CJ is SO excited about!

The holiday gift exchange continues! Here every day. Look who's getting into the holiday spirit.

**The Windflower, by Tom and Sharon Curtis, is a beloved out-of-print old school romance making the rounds (sort of reviewed here) and Daughter of the Blood by Anne Bishop is book 1 of the famous dark fantasy/horror/love story (discussed here).


Little CJ sez:

Yeah. Nice cartoon, big CJ. We're all mighty impressed with your drawing skills.

Anyways, I know I'll probably get a lot of coal in my stocking this year, and some lame educational stuff and lectures on being a better girl, but who cares?

This is going to be the best Christmas anyways, because The Italian Gourmet Baby Food Baron's Ironically Pregnant Virgin Mistress is finally being released! It will be torrid, I just know it. Torrid torrid torrid!!

And Santa is doling it out early...starting on the 15th in FREE CHAPTERS. Why is Santa waiting until the 15th? I don't know. Step on it, old man. Maybe you need to whip Rudolf a little harder.

Here's the back cover blurb from The Italian Gourmet Baby Food Baron's Ironically Pregnant Virgin Mistress

He needed children for an advertising campaign. . .
All Cesar Machismo wants is to ensure the bambinos of the world experience the flavor explosion of his company’s newest baby-food, Thai Shrimp in Peanut Dressing. But when he goes to an orphanage looking for a new spokes-baby, he finds twins with eyes the color of pureed Cornish game hens. Mama Mia! He must take them home!

What he got was a ready-made family!
Content with her lot in life, Chastity Bliss slaves for her stepmother at the orphanage. This way she stays with her babies, though she can never acknowledge them. When Cesar adopts her twins, she follows as their nanny. What can she do? She has no choice, because though he doesn’t know it . . .

Cesar is their father!

* * *
Yessssss.  I can't wait! The blurb above is by the wonderful Lorelie Brown, and the cover was created by the ever-talented Bettie Sharpe!

Okay, the book is by eight authors instead of just one measly author, so you KNOW it HAS to be great. (Authors: Tumperkin, who masterminded the whole thing, plus big CJ, Ann Aguirre, Carrie Lofty, Bettie Sharpe, Meljean Brook, Kate Rothwell and Lorelie Brown). It'll be posted on each author's blog and in full at Bam's.