Why aren't men like Jamie Fraser?

The other day when I was looking at my search stats, I noticed somebody had arrived at this blog by typing in the query: "Why aren't men  like Jamie Fraser?" 

That is a really good question, and one that, unfortunately, I don't think this blog answered. Until now.

Dear Google Searcher: Why can't men be more like Jamie Fraser? Yeah, I'm with you sister. I, too, have read Outlander and wondered that. In fact, I think most women who have read Outlander wonder this at some point. It's time for answers! I hope that this list helps.  

Reason #1 Men can't be more like Jamie Fraser: 

Prime time medical dramas

Toward the beginning of Outlander, Claire uses rudimentary medical skills to set Jamie's dislocated shoulder and disinfect his wound, saving his life. Even though he thinks she is an English spy, he is totally grateful and impressed, and thus begins his fierce, passionate loyalty toward her.  

Now, even though I am not a nurse, I do know some things about medical treatments, and I have seen enough movies to know how to set a dislocated shoulder. I can also figure some other things out, and I'm sure I could impress my man in the exact same way . . . if only I got that chance. Do I ever get that chance? No. Thanks to the fact that there are so many doctor shows on TV, my man knows all about clinics and hospitals and modern medicine. When he is wounded, what does he want to do? Go to a doctor. Thanks a lot, House, you jerk!! 

Reason #2 Men can't be more like Jamie Fraser: 

Modern therapy

While belt whipping is one of the few Jamie traits I do not encourage in my man, I think we are probably in agreement, dear Google Searcher, that irrational jealousy, crazy protectiveness, boy-ish benightedness and the need to adhere to primitive clan mores and show dominance are definite signs of passion in a mate. Unfortunately, there is a subset of people who seem completely and entirely dedicated to destroying this, and I think you know who I'm talking about: Therapists. I don't imagine I have elaborate on this point.  

Reason #3 Men can't be more like Jamie Fraser: 

9-1-1 emergency services

When Claire is about to be burned at the stake - unfairly - for being a witch, what does Jamie Fraser do? He rescues her, of course. By himself. With a SWORD. It was a totally amazing moment. "Jamie drew the sword completely, with a flash of steel, then thrust it point-first into the ground, leaving the hilt quivering with the force of the blow. 'I draw it in defense of this woman, and the truth,' he said. 'If any here be against those two, they'll answer to me, and then God, in that order.'" 

Does my man ever come to rescue me with a sword when I'm in trouble? No. And it is not for lack of a sword, I guarantee you. Santa has brought my man numerous swords for Christmas. Unfortunately, my man seems to regard them more as a wall decorations than tools of battle and chivalry, no matter how many hints I drop. Why? Government emergency services, I believe, is at the root of this problem. 

Sadly, the message "Call 9-1-1 in case of emergency" has been emblazoned into my man's head since boyhood. That is who he calls whenever I am in trouble. The availability of 9-1-1 rescue services has thwarted his natural instinct to put his life in danger to rescue me in a manly way. 

Reason #4 Men can't be more like Jamie Fraser: 

Mens' magazines and HR departments and their stupid anti-kilt dress codes.  

Of course one of the key things that makes Jamie so lovable is the fact that he wears a kilt - in the traditional way...I think you know what I'm talking about here, Google Searcher.  

Kilts are totally hot, but does my man think so? No. You can buy him the manliest of manly kilts, all buckles and rough-hewn fabrics, and still he refuses to give up his precious underwear and pants. It doesn't help that he sees the men in our neighborhood wearing pants, too, so it makes him not want to wear a kilt, even around the house. This is reinforced by the fact that men on TV and in magazines also don't wear kilts. It is like a vicious cycle! And he won't even wear a kilt to work. It's not like the neighbors will be around to laugh at him then. But nooooo, apparently it's against the dress code AND the health code.  When you call the human resources department to complain, they are not understanding at all. 

Reason #5 Men can't be more like Jamie Fraser: 

Middle school sex education, dirty magazines and movies, lax morals

When Clair met Jamie, he was a virgin, and not only that, but hardly knew anything about sex. At one point, Jamie says to her, "While I dinna pretend to know all there is to know, I’ve lived a good bit of my life on a farm, and unless people are verra different from other animals, it isna going to take that long to do what we have to." and "I’ve seen horses and cows, of course, pigs, chickens, doves, dogs, cats, red deer, squirrels, rabbits, wild boar, oh, and once even a pair of snakes. Did ye know snakes have two cocks? Male snakes, I mean."

Oh, Jamie! You are so delightful. I loved how Claire got the chance to open his eyes  to the wonders of sex, and what an eager pupil he was, and how hot it was, too!

Just before our first intimate encounter, I naturally began to explain to my man that, even though he had likely spent a lot of time viewing animals performing sexual acts, that human sex is far different than sex between animals . . .  well, imagine my surprise when he acts all insulted! Not only that, but it turns out he'd done it before. I blame this on society, education, and all media. Needless to say, this ruined the moment. (As if things weren't already ruined enough by #4!!)

Oh well. I hope that answers your question, Google Searcher. But wait, there's more...

The Verra Good News...

Even though men now aren't like Jamie, we can still enjoy him in book form - more than ever now, since the Outlander is coming out in a graphic novel format in a week! I'm verra psyched!!  

What? Do you think by this post that I didn't like the Outlander? Wrong. I'm just being silly, because I loved the Outlander. It took over my mind when I read it, the way very few books do. And, I remember when I read it, I really would have loved some pictures. 

EDITED TO ADD: This post was from like 2010...and finally Outlander is a TV show!! Yay Starz!! 

Vote for your fave Jamie! (and others, but who cares about them.)

Thanks for all the great nominations.
FOUR polls are up on the sidebar at the left.

I have no doubt the casting director of the upcoming Outlander movie will be watching the outcome with great interest, so please, people, you must meticulously examine the nomination photos from the Cry for Help post below and cast your vote carefully.

UPDATE: Tumperkin didn't arrive in time to nominate her non-actor Jamie lookalike, Scottish Ski Racer Alain Baxter! The photo she sent wasn't quite proper, so I found a clothed one.  We'll put him here for inspiration.

UPDATE: Oh, excuse me, I didn't put up cute enough pictures of Tumperkin's fella, Alain.  Here are some new ones she has supplied.  Yes, these are better.  Sorry for the dorky one!  

Above left, this would be a good face for him to make when he whips Clare with the belt. Or when Billy Boyd is assaulting him.  Right, Jamie in a lighter moment.  

Oops. Okay, I was doing something weird bloggerwise and ended up with duplicate posts. So there are also comments here.

I shan't be gentle, lassie!

It seems fitting, for the first entry of my blog, that I look back to the first fantasy/romance/adventure all-around girls' thrill read that expanded my universe beyond dead classic authors, wonderful as they can be. And that would be Diana Gabaldon's Outlander, which literally kept me up at night, even when I wasn't reading it, because it was so damn exciting. Like my mind would churn on it, and I'd have dreams about it where I'd fill stuff in and continue scenes, being SO tormented as to the welfare of the Jamie and Claire. I actually had to stop reading it at times, because I literally couldn't sleep after reading it. I know it's controversial, what with the gay rape, the wife beating that seems suspiciously written to be titillating and so much more, but Och, I was in such heated suspense all the way through, the thing took over my mind. My big gateway drug. It was sweet! Be in my first batch of commenters--I will be so excited! What was your gateway drug?